Thursday, April 18, 2013

I Almost Quit

here and here
I'm not a quitter.  By nature, I am a determined person, and with age, I have become more intentional with my determination (I've heard some call this stubborn...)

When I make up my mind to do something, I do it.  I may not be the fastest at it, or reach my end goal at lightning speeds, but I always reach my goal...once I've made up my mind.

Last week, I thought about quitting blogging.  I am not a quitter.  But blogging has been weighing heavily on me.  It seemed that this bloggingness was turning into a monster in my world.  It was becoming part of the routine...part of the routine that is not moving me forward.  Part of the routine that is not making me GREATER.  Part of "this is what I do every week night, so deal with it."  Not a good place to be stuck.  That routine was becoming more lonely, and was leading me further down the depression trail.

I had forgotten why it is that I come here each day...why I write.  It's not for numbers or readers or comments (yeah, I was apparently getting caught up in that game).  I come here Sunday-Thursday nights to talk to you, to reassure you, to let you know that you are amazing and awesome and incredible and worth it all.  And by coming here for you, I find joy in my own heart.  And I understand and accept that I am here for me.

That is why I am here.  That is what I do. That is what the Sunshine Giver does.

And I don't want to quit.

I do want to rebalance, so I hope that you will bare with me and not leave me if I go MIA every once in a while.  I'll try and clear it with you all first, but just know, I'm not quitting.  I'm still here.

I love you, friends.  Thank you for being an amazing part of my life...a part that I WANT and will keep (Sunday through Thursday)!

Have an awesome day!

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Nikki said...

I love you and I love this! Do you momma!

Kayla C said...

I love you! Don't quit, cause then I'd have to miss you! Sorry I've been slacking on reading posts, this full time work and school schedule is killin' me!

Jenn said...

I would be sad if I didn't see your posts anymore! Blogging is a tough one - you need to love it or it's not worth. And you need to be doing it for YOU or it's not worth it. I got caught up in that a couple years ago when I was trying to post everyday. I got so burnt out and completely wanted to quick, so instead I went down to three days a week and that's my blogging happy place.

I love seeing your happy encouraging words on my internet! :)

Girls Love Fried Pickles said...

I think we all have been in this position. I decided not a few months ago to get back to basics and make my space about me, what I like and to heck with the rest. Blogs serve a purpose if you find the right ones. You my friend inspire people. Don't forget that. Love you!