Monday, March 11, 2013

I Am An Ass

Have I mentioned how in love I am with those eggy muffins?  So easy and perfect for breakfast on the go!  I added spinach this time...scrumptious!

But those little eggies are not the reason why I am an ass.

I spend a lot of time on this blog, on facebook, and in life telling people to look at the positive/sunny/good side of life and don't wallow in the negative because it can only bring you down.  I 100 billion million percent believe in this and 98% of the time live my life this way.  But occasionally I will catch myself in that other 2% area, that negative, gray, dark place that breeds ugliness.  Last night was one of those times.

I make comments on this blog about my roommate and allude to my irritations with him.  I was talking to my mom a week ago about this and she reminded me to be grateful.  Without him living in my home, I wouldn't be able to afford my home.  And so I did...I focused on being grateful and thankful that he was there so that I could be there.  That lasted about 8 hours, until I receive the cable bill and then all bets were off (we'll just say that I rarely ever watch tv and it pisses me off to no end to pay a bill for something I don't use.  That has sense been remedied, by the way.  An agreement has been reached and costs have been placed where they should be.).  Anyhoo...

Last night, the roommate came downstairs and asked if I had a few minutes to talk.  I (internally, I hope) rolled my eyes and said of course.  This is the part where I become an ass.  He's been locked away in his room for the past three weeks because he's been having severe panic attacks.  He said that it is starting to affect his work.  On Friday, he was giving a presentation at a conference and he thought he was going to have a heart attack because his heart was racing so hard/fast.  He woke up yesterday morning and felt like he was buried in 100 lbs of concrete.

These have been happening since January, with each one becoming more severe.  After Friday and this weekend, he has decided to reach out and get help, hence the reason he was filling me in on what was going on.

I've been sitting in my kitchen writing these blogs, cooking, living my life and thinking, dude, why are you locked in your bedroom?  What is going on?  And now I know.

And now I'm an ass.

My point is, friends, BE THE PERSON who says hello, who asks what's going on, who asks before judging.  You never know when you might bring someone out of a dark place, or better yet, not be an ass for prejudging.

Thanks for listening.  I love you!

Have an awesome day!