Monday, January 14, 2013

Self Talk: Confessions of the Less-Than-Fit

Disclaimer: If you're offended by chicks in bikinis, please stop reading now.  I'm having issues and this is how I'm venting those issues. 

Four (short) months ago, I was in Spain.  I was traveling alone.  I was having the time of my life, living my life exactly the way I wanted to live it.

And I was fit, the best shape I had been many many moons.  Are you ready?

 le sigh.....

Look at those abs.  And shoulders!  Those shoulders that I worked so very hard to create.  Ugh.  Oh, and I was so very tan!  I miss sunshine...

Friends, I'm hear to confess to you, my closest blogland friends, that my body currently does NOT look like this.  In four short months, I have gained 8 lbs.  That's a lot in four months.  People freak out over gaining 10 lbs in a YEAR. 

Needless to say, I haven't been very nice to myself lately with the self-talk.  The comments and faces I make to the me in the mirror are not positive or productive.  Occasionally, while clothed, I'll give a positive affirmation, but they've become less and less.

Tonight I took photos of myself for the AdvoCare Can You 24 Contest that I'm going to enter (a chance at $1k?  Yes please!).  Those photos though...ugh.  You will notice that they are missing from this blog post.  Not the best that I've looked in the last 12 months.

So I started thinking...what changed?  What was I doing differently prior to Spain?  Well, this is what i came up with:
- Running 5-6 days a week.  On day 6/7 (the non-running day, usually Sunday), I hiked Badger Mt.  This was fact and what I did week in and week out.  Along with this, I was lifting four mornings a week (at least I'm still lifting).
- No alcohol in August (I left for Spain at the beginning of September).
- I was taking my AdvoCare MNS Max 3 packs religiously.
- I was focused on being healthy, inside and out.

What I do/do not do now:
- My running has decreased significantly.  On average, I would say I'm running 2-3 evenings a week.  And it's way too stinking cold to hike Badger.
- Drinking.  The drinking, especially during the holidays, has been out of control.  Not in the sense that it was last July when I did self-induced Dry August, but calories are calories, and alcohol packs a fair punch.
- I've been taking my AdvoCare vitamins, but not the MNS packs.  Those packs contain all sorts of vitamin healthiness and thermogenic/weight maintenance goodness.
- I temporarily lost focus on me.

So, what am I going to do about all of this?  Friends, I'm getting back on track.  I must, I have given myself no choice, therefore, now is the time.  Talking down to myself only causes me to feel worse, eat more, gain more, talk poorly, feel you see my cycle here?  And I'm tired of it.  I've worked too hard to get to a point in my life where I am living the way I want to live, and I'm not about to let a few lbs ruin EVERYTHING I've worked towards!  

Promises to self:
- I will run 5 days a week.  If I am not running, I will be doing my Can You 24 DVD.  Bottom line, cardio, five days a week, starting NOW (with my 3.5 mile run tonight, thank you very much!).
- I will limit my drinking.  I was trying for Dry January, but I've already messed that up.  I will hold my alcohol intake to the weekends, and with that, limit the quantity of said intake.  Moderation is key.
- I've already ordered my MNS packs, and a new workout companion that is supposed to help with longevity and increase cardiovascular support in general.  I'm excited about that, because sometimes when I run, I feel like I can't get enough air.  This should help significantly.  
- Most important, I will look at myself in the mirror and recognize that I'm OK, and I am making changes, and I will give myself credit where credit is due!

Friends, thank you for sticking with me through this post.  I know it's a long one.  What do you do that may have a negative impact on your SELF? What are WE going to do to change it?

Have an awesome day!


Chandra said...

We have all gone thru this...myself included! You've already made a huge step by admitting to yourself that changes need to be made. You are a work in progress and we are constantly going thru changes...good and bad. We'll keep each other motivated as I too have slacked a bit! WE can do it! And just think how bangin' we will look this summer;)

Girls Love Fried Pickles said...

Lord give me that body! Right this minute. so I am making good on my get ready for summer project. Starting off slowly. Last week I worked out 4 nights. I didn't like it much. This week started out with kickboxing.,I don't like it much. I just want to be super hot and healthy naturally. I don't know why I need to work for this shit. Oh well, I love you! I believe in you!

My-cliffnotes said...

Ill take your body and those 8lbs

You can do it

Nikki said...

you got this momma! I am here for you!

Kayla C said...

Sounds like you'll be back and possibly in even better shape! You've got a solid plan and I know you're determined when you set your mind to something! Go Angie! I think you're still beautiful, but I know when I don't feel fit, I'm not my happiest. I'm working on it myself! Woo! Let's be some hot bikini chicks this summer and get our tans back!!